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Monday, December 31, 2012

Sick of being "VenusAngelic"?



This is a question I answered on my Tumblr earlier, I thought I'd share this also on my blog.
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Question:
"Do you ever get sick of being "VenusAngelic"?
 You know, tired of being a character all the time, dealing with the responsibilities it comes with, handling the endless hordes of haters? You appear to me to be a pretty complex individual, not just some Japanophile who has to dress up like a doll to make money. I bet there are days where you want to run away from it all and be free to think, say and do whatever you want."
My Answer:
That is not just a “character”. If that’d be a character then I’d had to live a double life which I can’t imagine how tiring that would be, because already living one life is so tiring!
2 lifes = more problems!
I started doing YouTube so I could be what I AM and not to create multiple personalities. 
Actually, in my videos and on my blog people can see how I really am, that’s not a fake made up character. And, Venus Angelic you see on YouTube is actually Venus Isabelle Palermo. I just wanted a fancy username, okay. And my grandmother’s mom name in Hungarian is “Angel” so I thought it’d fit perfectly! <3
I always say and do what I want, now even more than earlier because doing YouTube and getting hate mail really took most of my fear and made me believe more in myself, that’s why I can just go on TV and be me without being nervous. 

Sometimes, I’m sad and hurt, but that’s not because of silly stuff like “omg som1 told me that I’m ugly and IÄm hated by ever1 TT__TT omg they’re looking at me weird and think I’m crazy”
Noo, that’s because of real problems like probably not being a able to pay and go to school, even though I’m a good student, or organising my day so I can study but also fulfill my wish of uploading 2 videos a week!
Or, problems like documentaries think of me like a retarded girl who doesn’t want to grow up, asking me if I play with dolls, asking me to show them how I change my voice and “set” my character and want to analyse if everything’s alright in my head. 

And running away, or drinking, smoking, cutting myself, anything which makes me turn my face away from all the problems is the LEAST thing I would do! That’s nonsense!
Also, I’m not an egoistic, lazy person who just runs away, leaving problems everywhere. And, you can never just “run away from life”. What would you guys do if your parents just “run away” be free and say what they want to their boss, and at the end of the month they can’t pay the rent and your phone? Life is not that simple!! YOU CAN’T RUN AWAY FROM PROBLEMS!!! Face your problems, struggle, even if it’s death, face it, struggle and if you die then you die!
People who run away from their problems end up homeless or have to rent a sofa for 300 pound, no such a privilege as privacy or a bubble bath!!

*P.S: I don't say that people who drink, cut, smoke, etc. are egoistic and lazy, the meanings aren't connected! @_@;; If you do any of these things or/and similar I understand you and wish you good luck and hope you feel better ♥